Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Crash (2004) film short review

Part #01 of my "Why do I love films" series of ongoing articles.

Films can change people's minds, thoughts, lives and can be more effective today than, say, an old man's story.

Crash (2004) is an award-winning film now. It's an art film and I love art films. It's rare for me to not like an art film. Crash (2004) had many qualities that makes a good film, from actors performances and an excellent script, to Cinematography, editing and directing. I didn't enjoy it the whole time I was watching it, and I couldn't believe myself.

Now what's the difference between art films and typical Hollywood films, you ask? Many differences. One difference is that art films are not made for your pocket money, to please you or your genitalia. They're made to deal with important subjects and things that matters to humanity and it delivers message(s) to audiences. You can usually tell if you're watching an art film (as opposite to Hollywood films) by noticing how uncomfortable you are. Does it lead you to thoughts that you were trying to escape from? It's called thought-provoking. They are made in order to make you think about the subject in question. It's always good to use the mind and to be allowed to use it while watching a film, much like reading good books and such.

What I did after Crash (2004) ended, is that I started thinking of the film and wondering why I didn't like it?! Then, suddenly, it hit me like a fast & loaded train in the head.

The film is about racism and when people judge people by color, race and such. I never was one of those who do such judging. I've taught myself better than that. I've taught myself not to fall into such trap. Now I'm embarrassed to discover that I judged a couple of characters in the film. I couldn't believe it. I thought I knew better. How dare I? Seriously, I was shocked at myself. I can blame others and the media but I'm a man. Real men admit their mistakes. It was my mistake and what a big mistake it was. I'm embarrassed at myself and it all started by a film. Got the point?

Still want to know the power of film? Keep reading my series of articles.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Losing The Point

I pray
from my raped heart
that peace someday
will fill the world
As joy was pain to me
and breathing simply hurts
As the blood
was just a favorite color
And the soul
is damaged for good
As tears fill the eyes
every night trying to sleep
I Pray and pray
and pray some more each day
That your world is filled
with colors
many colors
all colors
but black.

I'm writing these very words while tired of thinking, thinking of everything, and I'm tired of being tired. There is no place whatsoever for a person like me in this world, or so it seems. I absolutely am losing my well-power to pursue my dreams or even stay alive. I'm seeing black everywhere. No one ever understands me. No one cares. I no longer care either.
Who'd read what I write?
Who'd appreciate my art?
Who'd listen to my opinion?
To my thoughts, ideas and feelings?
Who'd listen at all?
Do I care anymore?
Is it all my fault?
Or was I simply born in the wrong century?
Am I stupid? Insane?
Am I an error of mother nature?
What's the purpose of my creation?
I cared for others. Did they notice? No. I've invested the time of my life trying to be what everybody wanted me to be. I just wanted each and every single person pleased. Is it my heart? Because I feel cold inside of me. I can't force myself to give a damn anymore. I really, truly and utterly don't. GOD if you're reading this, post a comment. Well, it's not so bad, since breathing was never fun anyway. I don't want anyone to care. I don't want anyone to even try. I'm not asking for help here. Don't misread my words or try to interpret them your way. For once read my lips: my words are precise expression of how I'm feeling at the moment. There's nothing between the lines here. I don't use any psychology techniques like reverse psychology nor looking for empathy from whomever reading this.

I was handsome I was strong,
I knew the words of every song.
Did my singing please you?
No, the words you sang were wrong.

I was just trying to matter.

Note: Being the INTP person that I am, here's something on the subject:
The INTP spends their life examining themselves and their relationship to see what they need to do to make it work. So they spend all their time critically analyzing it...

(a repost from step #11 of Iganokami's Guide to the INTP Mate)

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Others with INTP personality

In my last post, I've listed some famous INTPs:

Famous INTPs, according to INTP SURVIVAL GUIDE, includes: Einstein, Newton, Darwin, Socrates, Pascal, René Descartes, C. G. Jung and Brent Spiner.

Here's an extention to that list:

According to Dustin Hoffman, Shannen Doherty, John Travolta, Bob Geldof, J. K. Rowling, Gabriel Byrne, Stewart Granger, Roy Dupuis, Thomas Cavanagh, Diane Lane, Isaiah Washington, Emily Procter, Liam Gallagher and George Harrison.

FAMOUS INTP'S according to James Madison, John Quincy Adams, John Tyler, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Gerald Ford, William James, Henry Mancini, Bob Newhart, Tiger Woods

What I'm interested into the most right now, is getting to know as many INTPs as possible. Looking for blogs like and anything really about being an INTP and living as an INTP. StumbleUpon has a list of people most of them are INTP just like me.


I am an INTP person:

INTP - "Architect". Greatest precision in thought and language. Can readily discern contradictions and inconsistencies. The world exists primarily to be understood. 3.3% of total population.
Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

And says:
BCIR/INTP "Logician":
master of conceptual logic; problem-solver; scientific—desires understanding of universe; designs logical models; seeks precision; introspective; adaptable; tends to excel in theoretical, philosophical subjects; logical abstraction skilled.

This is the INTP personal type according to
Quiet, reserved, impersonal. Enjoy especially theoretical or scientific subjects. Logical to the point of hair-splitting. Usually interested mainly in ideas, with little liking for parties or small talk. Tend to have sharply defined interests. Need careers where some strong interest can be used or useful. discribtion of INTP:
The Dominant function is the judging one of Thinking. Characteristics associated with this function include:
  • Likes making decisions on the basis of logic, using objective considerations
  • Is concerned with truth, principles and justice
  • Is analytical and critical, tending to see the flaws in situations
  • Takes an objective approach

And here's where it gets even more interesting:
Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the INTP's shadow may appear - a negative form of ESFJ. Example characteristics are:
  • expressing intense negative emotions towards others
  • being very sensitive to criticism
  • becoming preoccupied with details, without any logical basis
  • interpreting facts or events in a very subjective way

This is so true for me since forever. And if you factor this with my other issues, you might get a slight idea about my life.

In Iganokami's Guide to the INTP Mate, it says:
1. Lots of sex
I dont think it is just me as an INTP who finds this a very important part of a relationship and the most important physical expression of love in a relationship - it is NOT a selfish act for selfish physical satisfaction. but hell, it is damn pleasing, too

2. Moral support
It is a tough world out there for INTPs

3. An equal
INTPs have no wish to dominate, and are crushed by domination

4. Someone who is next to unoffendable.
INTPs tend to lack tact, but also want and need to be brutally honest with thier intimate partners - they want someone who they can playfully insult, who will then either laugh in thier face or give it right back.

5. Someone who can accept them for who they are and not try to change them.
INTPs appear erratic to the casual observer in a relationship, for example - they appear to demand solitude one moment, sex the next. Non-INTPs find this VERY hard to reconcile with their typical conception of "love"

6. Someone who accepts the peculiar WAYS they show thier love.
Be it really, really sappy hopless-romantic type drivel or passionate physical expression, or just a touch or a simple look. The INTP way is very hard to catch, if you blink, you miss it. Non-INTPs tend to want tokens and words, not a slow dance in a room with no radio, not a quiet cuddle in front of the TV at the end of the day, or the other strange and random expressions that INTPs tend to give. [This ties in with #5.]

7. SPACE [as in both physical and emotional space]
In case it was missed, I'll mention it again: SPACE!! INTP men need their free time to pursue intellectual pursuits, and CAN NOT be:
a.) disturbed
b.) told they dont love thier partner because they spend too much time "alone", etc.
INTP men disappear for a while, then come out swinging. this FORCES most non-INTPs to think that the INTP partner only wants them for sex. This is wrong, but if the non-INTP is not capable of #5 and #6, they are forced to believe it.

8. Comforting. [this goes along with #2.]
The world sucks, particularly for INTPs. They are capable of an utterly staggering amount of patience and responsibility, but in the long run, without #2 and #8, the relationship will ultimately die, or the INTP will DIE a very real death. With #2 and #8, an INTP can take a spectacular amount of abuse, responsibility, and patience in life, as long as his partner supplies #2 and #8 in sufficient quantities.

9. An intellect. a person who can hold their own in a debate.
The words "you always think you are right!!" are the LAST words an INTP wants to hear from their mate. The INTP wants debate! Wants intellectual stimulation! If they doesnt get it at home, #7 becomes very very very important. If their mate can not handle #7, there will be PROBLEMS. If the mate can supply #9, the INTP will be very happily occupied with their mate for a long, long time.

10. Someone to learn with. [This goes with #9]
Someone who is interested in learning and intellectual stimulation. The INTP needs someone who they can learn with and enjoy the mysteries and adventures of life with. Someone who can understand their interest in the esoteric, show appreciation for their interests, and even join them in these interests, or introduce them to new ones.

11. Someone capable of self reflection and self analysis.
Often the INTP finds that they are the only one "growing" in a relationship, the only one who can see the problems in the relationship. This usually forces the INTP to be the one to change, to be the one to compromise for their partner. Because many non-INTPs have no true ability to self reflect the non-INTP thinks they are ALWAYS right. The INTP spends their life examining themselves and their relationship to see what they need to do to make it work. So they spend all their time critically analyzing it, and the mate does nothing but demand that they change. This will eventually lead to the spiritual DEATH of the INTP, if not the actual PHYSICAL death of the INTP. To avoid this, the INTP person NEEDS a mate who can examine the relationship WITH them, so they can grow TOGETHER.

I love the parts #2, #9, #7, #10, #6, #8 and #3 (damn it, I proved I'm an INTP by rearranging the numbers by order of importance), especially the parts with the space, the "if you blink, you miss it" thing and of course "The world sucks, particularly for INTPs." Well it does. It really really does.

Finding out all this about myself changed my life. Take the test, and if you're an INTP person, I'd love it if you contact me (through posting a comment or something). There are many personality tests like this one, if you want to take some more.

Famous INTPs, according to INTP SURVIVAL GUIDE, includes: Einstein, Newton, Darwin, Socrates, Pascal, René Descartes, C. G. Jung and Brent Spiner. Such a fitting group, since I always adored their works and lives for a very long time.

More information about INTP? Check these links: