Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Losing The Point II

(Part II out of ? of Losing The Point)
Like you'd care enough... just go google stuff or something
Oh, more simple English? Sure: F U C K__O F F

This is a newer me: MJ version 25.018

I'm fed up and EXTREMELY tired of explaining
explaining my life
explaining myself
I've been wondering why this world does not care
I see now it's the reason why the world's so fucked up
we misunderstand each other
And I have no inspiration, whatsoever
And am tired of those couple of centuries
And I put it so clear for you to see
Right there, it's in your mouth
But no, you need help to swallow
It's a given: I'm always wrong
mark those words and be happy
You all are, except me
Fuck normality
Fuck happiness
Fuck me for caring so far
And you dare to teach me of love?
What do you know about hearts?
You're scared shitless to discuss/feel the pain
Another fast-food you're feeding your kids?
No, I never pretend to know stuff, unlike you
I say what I know only, am not an ignorant
And since you doubt every word of mine,
Why da fuck don'tchya double check on me?
And you cry watching TV? What's up with that??
You're in touch with your feelings now?
You would stop wars if you could?
But you're welling to hate me anyway, aren't you?
And you think I'm kidding here?
Does it feel like a fuckin' joke to you?
And ya teach me of my disorders
Yet you keep forgetting my fucked up name?
What does it mean telling that girl she needs a boob job?
Is sex all there's on your mind?
What kind of souls do you people have?
So you say you understand so much
You understand so and so
And you understand I'm wrong
Well fuck it, this is deep, so what's up?
You want water? You wanna cut off your ears?
You think I'm a suicidal 'cos I mention suicide a lot?
It's pens and pencils, among other things
But she's still lying naked there
And you obviously understand
But this is mindfucking stuff
How did you understand?
But you really really do
And I don't
And you think this shit is nothing
But you're still afraid, kiddo
Hell, I have fears too
And anger is an important subject
But you're beautiful, you have two parents
And kids laughed at you, but whatever
So why do you drink, my friend?
Does it feel I'm acting shit?
Do you need more dosage of sanity?
Honey, don't press that button
Just say I'm wrong
And I'd say you're right again
But oh, you've been to school
So you were somebody
But you felt like you're nobody
And you know I'm wrong
But your heart is broken
And you've cried some nights
But I don't give a fuck anymore
And your Math and logic
That's a joke, and you can't beat me there, but who am I?
Like that nightmare of yours
But no one cares baby
And you can't find the sense here
Or you can pretend you do
But who said you can rip my fuckin' life apart
Merely through stuff, through words that I say?
'Cos I'm done trying
I'm done swallowing shit
No more
But you think I can't write now
So who cares, like I'd care


"And everybody knows that you're in trouble
Everybody knows what you've been through
From the bloody cross on top of calvary
To the beach of malibu
Everybody knows it's coming apart
Take one last look at this sacred heart
Before it blows
And everybody knows
"

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Wandering




Sometimes I like to get lost
Alone wandering different places
I don't really know the way
I don't really care
Just me, myself and my solitude
Some people might avoid such abandoned places, like these in the pictures, but I love them. It came to my attention that I'm not alone doing this. To wander around sometimes is very healthy I guess. You look and just wonder what stories could those walls tell if they could talk. I look at such buildings and take mental notes. The darker a building inside the better to me. But there are always people nearby. Sometimes I just don't want to be around people, you know?
Lost in your thoughts
To wanna be something
To think you'll ever matter
Dead yet so alive
Hated yet so loved

To wish you weren't born human
Yet really love all humanity
...
..
.
Gotta stop mumbling... this inarticulately of mine!

"You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can
You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes

Says everybody's changing
And I don't know why

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same

You're gone from here
And soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light
Cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same
"









All this reminds me of a nice friend of mine, and her all-time favorite things :)

MJ, May 3rd, 2006 CE