Thursday, December 21, 2006

Death is My Color

My stupid heart, why keep on beating, still?
I'm supposed to be strong
To shine through every single pain
But I just so freakin' miss her.
What a broken, shell of a once-proud man am I?

And yesterday, a relative died.
And a week before that, a great man died.
People will remember you, through the things you've done.
I'm smiling from the heart for some reason.
What'll people gonna remember me for?
Who'll remember? Who'd even care?
Everyone dies alone.
While death is my color,
and black is my theme
Why oh why am I...
afraid of the 'alone' part?

MJ 51st week of 2006 CE
Photograph by Ed Snyder.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

I'm Lucky

I asked you GOD for love and respect, and you send me the best human beings to know on mother Earth, so thank you. The fact that there are people out there thinking about me, even for few minutes or seconds, gives me much power and will to live and achieve my dreams. So help me GOD in appreciating all this, and help me remember that MJ's nothing without my friends.

Don't wanna waste time on anything else except contributing a tiny little bit back to the world. While at times I'm so certain about my purpose, there comes those other times, where I can't think at all. Makes me think what's so wrong with me, how do I get out of this, with emotional issues so tightly chocking me not to trust anyone, and my fears.. oh the fears.

Yet if I don't live to see 26, that's cool, for darkness does make sense, with so much beauty in this world, and the love, heart, body, mind and soul. It's been a blast and I am grateful for most of it, if not all.

MJ, Dec 5th, 2:48am, 2006 CE
© Photograph by smurfie_77.